Thrills! Spills! Action!

One Missed Call is yet another remake of a Japanese horror film. Correction: yet another inferior remake of a Japanese horror film. It's not very good. It does feature the lovely Shannyn Sossaman though.

Aeon Flux is a film version of an animated series, originally shown on MTV, set in a dystopian future of some sort... the twist is obvious a mile off. THEY WERE CLONES ALL ALONG. It ain't no Beavis & Butt-Head. It does feature the lovely Charlize Theron though.

Doom is a film adaptation of the famous video game, starring The Rock. Can I smell what he was cooking when he made this film? No, but if it was related to this film in any way, it was probably some sort of shit-based dish. It does feature the lovely Rosamund Pike though.

Doomsday is the third film from British director Neil Marshall, and is kind of like Escape From New York. But set in Scotland. In a dystopian future. And not very good. It does feature the lovely Rhona Mitra though.

Red Road is a British thriller set in Glasgow about a CCTV operator who starts to spy on a man who has some sort of connection to her past... I won't give anything away, but the film drags on way too long. Good, but needed tightening up. It does feature the lovely Kate Dickie though.

Van Helsing is a mega-budget action spectacular starring Huge Action (aka: Hugh Jackman) as the titular hero battling an array of famous monsters like Dracula, Mr Hyde, werewolves... Unfortunately, the film is flat and lasts about 30 minutes too long. It does feature the lovely Kate Beckinsale though.

Do You Work Here?

It's embarrassing when you're in a shop and someone asks you a question, thinking you work there, because you're wearing similar clothes to the staff. Obviously, this has never happened to me. It happened to one of my friends. You don't know them. Only I do.

If You Can't Be Bothered

Fyodor Dostoyevsky: "Crime and Punishment"

Student kills an old woman and her sister. A policeman follows him around (like Columbo), forcing him to admit his guilt. Consequently sent to prison where he falls in love with a religious woman. The end.

Make Me Laugh, Funny Man

Ricky Gervais has been busy like a bastard in recent years, with his podcasts, TV series, books and more. He also found time to make some films. 2008's Ghost Town, a romantic comedy that lazy twats would describe as a cross between The Sixth Sense and... well, just about any romantic comedy ever made, was the first real attempt by Hollywood to cash in on his success. But kind of failed. Gervais is a grumpy dentist who starts to see dead people after routine surgery goes wrong... and you can probably guess the rest. Kristen Wiig steals the film as a fake tan-obsessed surgeon, Tea Leoni is the love interest and the underrated Greg Kinnear is the ghost of Leoni's dead husband who hangs around with Gervais when he realises Gervias's character can see him. However, Gervais's character is just a bit too grumpy (and unfunny) for too much of the film, and it kind of drags much of the film down, especially when he is in just about every scene of the film.

Undeterred, Gervais came back in 2009 with The Invention of Lying, a film he co-wrote and directed (he did neither on Ghost Town). Made with a much lighter tone (but greater satiric undertone), this is much better than Ghost Town. This is one of those "In a world..." films that are usually pretty terrible, but this, set "in a world" where no-one has ever lied, using the conceipt mainly to satirise religion, is actually fairly good, although it gets a bit sappy towards the end as the rom-com elements come to the fore. A good effort!

Influential 60s band The Rutles star in the documentary All You Need is Cash, telling their story from rise to break-up, and features contributions from luminaries such as Mick Jagger, George Harrison, Michael Palin. And to a lesser extent Dan Ackroyd. Featuring classic tunes such as 'A Hard Days Rut', 'OUCH!' and 'Tragical History Tour'. Who are The Rutles? They're only the band The Beatles could have been, as Alan Partridge might say. Highly entertaining.

Staying on a musical theme, The Rocker stars TV's Dwight Schrute as an old rocker (drummer) who joins a young band! With hilarious consequences! You can probably guess the rest (unless you're an idiot); his new band makes it, his old (now successful) band fall flat on their faces at the end.... it's pretty good but 4 episodes of The Office would be much funnier.

I only bought Breaking the Rules because I was looking up the terrible 1990s TV Series Tropical Heat and star of the series Carolyn Dunn happened to star in this film as well. And because it was 1 pence on Amazon (second hand). It's very 80s and very rubbish.