Happy First Birthday, PS3!

I got my PS3 a year ago today (since when the PS4 has been released!), what better time to assess its games?

Best Games (Single Player)

1. Assassin's Creed II

2. The Last of Us

3. Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood

4. Batman: Arkham City

5. Tiger Woods PGA Tour 14

6. Borderlands 2

7. Grand Theft Auto V

8. Tomb Raider

9. BioShock 2

10. Red Dead Redemption

Best Multiplayer

1. Assassin's Creed III

2. The Last of Us

3. Tiger Woods PGA Tour 14

4. Call of Duty: Black Ops

5. Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag

6. Call of Duty: Black Ops II

7. Grand Theft Auto V (GTA Online)

8. Assassin's Creed: Revelations

9. Battlefield 4

10. Aliens: Colonial Marines

Disappointments

Brothers

Crysis 3

Fallout 3

Grand Theft Auto IV

Heavy Rain

Journey

Payday 2

Pro Evolution Soccer 2013

Worst Games (Single Player)

1. inFamous

2. Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception

3. Brink

4. Aliens: Colonial Marines

5. Max Payne 3

Worst Multiplayer

1. Killzone 3

2. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3

3. Tomb Raider

4. Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception

5. Crysis 3

6. Aliens: Colonial Marines

Honourable Mentions

Bayonetta

BioShock

BioShock Infinite

L.A. Noire

Saints Row: The Third

Vanquish

Still To Play

Borderlands

Dead Space 3

Far Cry 3

Limbo

Metro: Last Light

Ni no Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch
South Park: The Stick of Truth

XCOM: Enemy Unkown

So there you have it, the definitive rundown of the PS3's games. Finally, gamers of the world can stop arguing and go and buy a Wii U and be done with it.

What's A "Love Shack"?

We have some new staff in our office. I've not really talked to them. Though, to be fair, I've not really talked to any of our existing staff for a while now either. They seem pretty young, around 22 I would guess. This means they were born after the release of Love Shack (1989).

Have they ever even heard of Love Shack? That is an interesting question, and one I am keen to know the answer to, though I am sure never to find out as I would have to talk to them to know.

Pretty much everything and everyone can easily (and should) be classified as pre-Love Shack or post-Love Shack, which makes the newbies our first post-Love Shack members of staff. End of days?

Knightmare

Knightmare was an rpg game show (for children) broadcast on ITV from 1987 to 1994. Teams of four children went on the show, one out in the dungeon (unable to see), three back in the studio guiding them via monitors.

In middle school, four girls from my class actually went on the show. Not just that but they actually got through to the end and won, which didn't seem to happen very often. I only used to watch the show occasionally but was keen to tune in to see my fellow classmates when their shows aired (I think it was spread across two episodes). They wouldn't tell anyone how they did, leading people to assume wrongly that they'd done badly. Oh how we felt foolish when they won.

Even after it had been broadcast, the girls were always guarded and never gave away any secrets of the show, almost like they'd taken a vow or pact of silence. Or maybe they knew that if they didn't talk about it we would keep on asking, becoming ever hungrier for the truth and behind-the-scenes secrets, and making them ever more popular (they were quite nerdy and not that popular before they went on the show).

Every now and then, maybe once or twice a year, for the rest of our school days, someone would say: "Hey, remember when [they] were on Knightmare?" We'd reminisce about those days, then go and poke fun at the girls for being losers, though we were probably all secretly a little bit jealous of their TV fame and glory. This was except for Kenny Loggins, who I've mentioned previously as someone who would never let an old nickname go. He insisted on saying "You're having a Knightmare!" to all four of the heroes, whenever he saw any of them, for pretty much the remaining six or seven years of our time at school. It was pretty funny the first time, maybe even the first few times, but he just couldn't let it go.

The World Cup: In Summary

The World Cup finished just about two weeks ago now, with Germany winning out. The real winners of the tournament though were Japan.

Yeah Germany may get to take the trophy home, but Japan went home knowing that they had Pikachu and other Pokémon as their mascots, and with it, a moral victory. Congratulations!

Best! Morrissey! Albums!

My main man Morrissey has a new album out this week called "World Peace Is None Of Your Business", which has gone in at number two in the album charts today (in the UK at least). I've listened to it a few times so far, but don't want to judge it just yet.

Morrissey is a special artist for me. The first single I ever bought was one of his ('The Last of the Famous International Playboys') and my love of music really developed from there. (Before you think I'm trying to show off my young cool hipster 10 year old self I would add that the first album I ever bought was by Bobby Brown. So there.)

But how do his other (solo) albums rank? Here, finally, for the first time ever anywhere in the world, especially in a blog on the internet, is the definitive list of Morrissey's albums, in order of quality.

1. Your Arsenal (1992)

2. Viva Hate (1988)

3. Vauxhall And I (1994)

4. Bona Drag (1990)

5. You Are The Quarry (2004)

6. Kill Uncle (1991)

7. Southpaw Grammar (1995)

8. Maladjusted (1997)

9. Years of Refusal (2009)

10. Ringleader of the Tormentors (2006)

I think Your Arsenal is clearly the best Moz album. Anyone who says otherwise is a lunatic. It was a close call between Viva Hate, Vauxhall And I and Bona Drag for number two, but I went with Viva Hate in the end as stays more consistently strong (especially lyrically) whereas the other two have one or two weaker moments.

Interestingly, or not, his five best albums contain four of his first five albums (only Kill Uncle of the first five makes the bottom half, and still makes it to six) and You Are The Quarry. His two worst albums are his two most recent, maybe not a good sign for his latest. Or maybe he'll turn it around?

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Note: I've based this on the albums as they were released, and not on the recent reissues which have changed some track listings, though I doubt it would have made much difference. I've not included live albums or compilation albums, though I have included Bona Drag, a sort of compilation of (then) recent singles and b-sides, which always felt like a proper album to me even if some people don't count it.

Worst World Cup Moments

No. 4: The Dictators

Football and politics are largely kept apart, FIFA even going so far as to suspend countries when governments interfere with national football associations.

This wasn't always the case though. The 1934 World Cup was held in Italy, then ruled by fascist dictator Benito Mussolini, and also won by Italy. This has lead to widespread rumours of interference from Mussolini since then, especially with reports of very favourable refereeing decisions for the Italians at the tournament, and the fact that Italy fielded three players who had played for Argentina at the previous tournament. You can read more about it here.

The 1978 World Cup was held in Argentina, then ruled by military dictator Jorge Rafael Videla, a man responsible for widespread murder and torture during his five years in power (1976-1981).

Again, watchers complained of favourable refereeing for the hosts throughout the tournament, including in the final; opposition players were sent off, penalties awarded to Argentina for no obvious fouls, Argentine players handling the ball (including one off the goal line) and not being unpunished, Argentine players smacking opposition players and not being punished, etc.

Perhaps the most notorious game in 1978 was the second round game between Argentina and Peru. Argentina needed to win by four clear goals (against a Peruvian team that had beaten Scotland and Iran and drawn with Holland) to qualify for the final and ran out 6-0 winners. There are lots of articles you can read about how or why this game and more may have been fixed, perhaps the best of which is here on the Financial Times's website.

As is FIFA hadn't learned its lesson by this point, the 1982 World Cup was awarded to Spain when General Franco was still in charge, though he died by the time the tournament was held.

Nicknames

I've never really had any nicknames. I got called "Mulder" for a while in the sixth form (some people thought I looked a bit like Mulder from The X-Files, rather than supermodel Karen Mulder) but that didn't last, apart from one guy (let's call him Kenny Loggins) who would say stuff like "How's Scully?" to me about 5 years after we had finished school, and about 6 years after anyone else ever referenced it. Kenny Loggins had form in this area, as he kept calling one of my friends Derek Terrence (a brief nickname at first school) right through to high school when no-one else could even remember (a) that we'd ever called him Derek Terrence, and (b) why we had ever called him Derek Terrence.

The best nickname I've EVER known anyone to have had was "Two Mouth". This was at high school. Two Mouth was so called because he had a scar across his chin that looked like a sealed up second mouth. Two Mouth also happened to be quite an angry young man, so much so that his other, more commonly used nickname was Vinnie (as in violent, nutcase, testes-grabbing footballer Vinnie Jones). Though you could believe that he would need a second mouth to spout the angry words and views of which he held plenty, which is why I preferred Two Mouth.

Perhaps the worst nickname I've ever come across, and the one I'd want the least, was "Bates". This started at first school for the person involved. Bates's previous nickname was "Skeletor", so I don't know if Bates was an improvement or not. The way I remember it, someone asked him if he knew what "masturbate" was. He lied and said yes (as you always did at first school if someone asked you what something obviously grown up and naughty meant), only for him then to become known as "Masturbates" (or "Master Bates"), then later shortened to just "Bates". By the time we finished high school some 10 years or so later, Bates was still called Bates.

I've not met Two Mouth or Bates in the 18 years since I finished high school and have no idea where they are now or what they are doing with their lives. I don't know if I did see them again if I should still call them "Two Mouth" or "Bates"; I don't know what the statute of limitations on nicknames is but it's probably a lot less than 18 years. I don't know how they feel about the nicknames of their youth; Bates seemed to embrace his at the time whereas Two Mouth tried to insist that people called him Vinnie, sometimes quite violently. I'll probably just call them "Man" or "Dude" if I do run into them.