Introducing The Band

Towards the end of high school, before we all went our separate ways in life, my friends (who I shall call John, Paul, George and Ringo) and I decided that we needed to form a band.

The fact that none of us could play any instruments was going to hold us back. I had a guitar, and one of my friends had a younger brother who had three guitars and a drum kit, which worked out perfectly as there were five of us, although we were a bit guitar heavy. As Ringo was the member of our "gang" we always picked on and made him do the things no-one else wanted to do, we made him the drummer.

Much time we spent together as a band that summer, mainly arguing over what the band's name should be. I wanted the band to have no name, so that we could be the ultimate non-conformists. No-one agreed with me. John and Ringo wanted the band to be called "Meat and Four Veg", Paul wanted us to be called "The Ascent" and George wanted "The Hill Street Gang". Paul relented and backed me as he preferred no name to "Meat and Four Veg" but George refused to back down, leading to deadlock and the band officially having no name. Which is what I wanted anyway. John and Ringo still insisted on telling people we were called "Meat and Four Veg".

Our jam sessions consisted of us all being together, playing what we wanted, when and how we wanted. As none of could play, the usual constraints of music, like chords or melody, didn't apply to us, so we could create improvised, free-form rock epics. Or just all individually play what we wanted until we got bored.

And what happened to the rest of my band? Well, they only went onto become known as Oasis, you might have heard of them… not really, none of them ever picked up an instrument again and now have assorted middle class jobs that pay them too much money.