Premier League Predictions: Revisited

Like all football fans, I know more than anyone else. That's why, last August, I made my predictions for the season just commencing (and having now just finished). So how did I do?

Well I got the top 5 of Man Utd, Man City, Chelsea, Arsenal and Tottenham in the correct order. And not much else. I rightly predicted Wigan and Reading to get relegated but pretty much everything else at least slightly wrong. Here are my predictions and the actual results in brackets:

1. Man Utd (CORRECT)

2. Man City (CORRECT)

3. Chelsea (CORRECT)

4. Arsenal (CORRECT)

5. Tottenham (CORRECT)

6. Liverpool (Everton)

7. Newcastle Utd (Liverpool)

8. Everton (West Brom)

9. Sunderland (Swansea)

10. Swansea (West Ham)

11. Aston Villa (Norwich)

12. Stoke City (Fulham)

13. West Ham (Stoke City)

14. Fulham (Southampton)

15. West Brom (Aston Villa)

16. QPR (Newcastle Utd)

17. Norwich (Sunderland)

18. Wigan (CORRECT)

19. Southampton (Reading)

20. Reading (QPR)

FA Cup: Man City (Wigan)

League Cup: Chelsea (Swansea)

Champions League: Barcelona (Bayern Munich)

Black Hawk Down

Director: Ridley Scott

Writer: Ken Nolan

Starring: Josh Hartnett, Eric Bana, Ron Eldard

Released: 2001

Black Hawk Down tells the story of an American operation to capture a Somali warlord who has declared war on UN personnel in Mogadishu. During the operation, the titular helicopter is shot down, and in the resulting chaos, and actions by the Somali militia, the various groups of soldiers are separated and must fight for their lives until help can arrive.

This film is a visual masterpiece, never has a war film been this brutal or intense. Featuring a stellar cast (Ewan McGregor, Jason Isaacs, Tom Hardy, William Fichtner and Sam Shephard - to name but a few of the actors here with lesser roles), and non-stop action after the first 30 minutes (the set-up for the operation), this is probably as close to the real thing as Hollywood has ever done.

On the downside, the film is much too long at almost 150 minutes. It's also very repetitive, featuring almost constant shoot-outs between American soldiers and Somalis on rooftops. Also, one of the more intersting parts of the film, the capture of Ron Eldard's character by the Somalis, is not followed at all (save for a brief mention at the end of the film). Josh Hartnett is also very weak as the leading character in the film, especially considering some of the acting talent elsewhere in the film. There is also no characterisation of any of the Somali characters; they are only here to shoot guns and get killed.

This is a very flawed film, but I think that any film fan should watch this at least once purely for the sheer visceral thrill of the relentless battle scenes. Ridley Scott's direction of these scenes is immense, as are the scenes themselves. Watching literally hundreds/thousands of people at war on the streets is something that you won't have seen before, at least not in as epic, realistic or amazing a way as is done here. This is one of Ridley Scott's greatest achievements as a director, if not one of his greatest films.

Rating: 3/5

Matchstick Men

Director: Ridley Scott

Writers: Nicholas Griffin, Ted Griffin

Starring: Nicolas Cage, Sam Rockwell, Alison Lohman

Released: 2003

One of Ridley Scott's lesser-known films, Matchstick Men seemingly came and went when it was released and has since gone onto become a staple of late night TV (in the UK on ITV1, at least).

Telling the story of con artist Roy (Cage), whose (OCD) life is thrown into chaos by the arrival of a teenage daughter (Angela, played by Alison Lohman) he didn't know he had, just as he and partner Frank (Rockwell) are about to pull off a big scam.

Finding out about her father's work, Angela willingly wants to get involved in his scams, much to his distress. Realising he has little choice, he gets her involved, but decides this potentially big job will be his last. However, as this is a film about con artists, all is not as it seems...

Cage is in virtually ever scene of this movie, and this is one of his better performances. He does however go a bit over the top at times, especially in the scenes where he has to show the character's OCD obsession with cleaning and medication, a little bit out of step with the quietly neurotic character that he is meant to be. Lohman and Rockwell play their roles well and are a good counter-balance when Cage does forget which film he is in.

The twist at the end is fairly obvious, but fits the film well, rather than seeming tacked-on for the sake of having a twist in the first place. Overall, this is a fairly entertaining and understated movie, well worth a watch on late night TV.

Rating: 3/5

Ninja Turtles In Trouble?

Is Ninja Turtle Michelangelo being led astray by his Hollywood mates?

"He just parties all the time," said someone I just made up. "He is known as a 'party dude' but he's gone too far and is neglecting his duties as a Ninja Turtle."

Goodbye Sir Alex

Sir Alex Ferguson has announced his retirement as manager of Manchester United.

As a lifelong Utd fan I am obviously pretty gutted about this. It's one of those days you knew would come but you didn't want to think about happening.

I don't need to discuss his success or importance, I think you can find everything you would need to know elsewhere.

I would just like to say: thank you Sir Alex.

Mining For Lava (Or: Dodgy Health And Safety Inspections)

On the subject of Star Wars, 'Episode III: Revenge of the Sith' to be precise, the film's climactic battle takes place on some sort of lava planet. Now, I don't have a problem with there being a lava planet, what I don't understand is why there appears to be mining taking place there. More specifically, mining for lava. Or how such a place could possibly pass any health and safety inspections.

What possible purpose can lava have? Taken away it will cool into rocks. Also, if robots/metal can be created that can withstand lava, then why can't robots be created that can withstand shots from laser guns or hits from lightsabers? If I was cynical I would suggest that George Lucas just wanted somewhere dramatic for the fight between Obi-Wan Kenobi and that Darth Vader kid who can't act, I forget his name, to take place and didn't put that much thought into it. However, I am not cynical and wouldn't dare suggest such a thing.

Star Wars

Hmm, so now that Disney own the rights to the Star Wars films, there's gonna be a bunch more of them. So join me now as I look back at the six (!) films in the saga so far... JOIN ME!

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Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999)

It's back! Well, it was. Rather underwhelming, compared to the "original" three films, Star Wars came back with bad child acting, possible racism (Jar Jar Binks) and special effects that now look a little lame. The highlights are the Ben-Hur-style podrace and the face-off between Darth Maul, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon. Not great, but still, it could have been worse...

Rating: 2/5

Episode II: Attack of the Clones (2002)

And by "it could have been worse", I mean it could have been as bad as this. Easily the worst of the series, and starring the terrible Hayden Christensen, the film plods along with little to get excited about until we finally get to see Yoda in action; even that doesn't last for too long as Christopher Lee scarpers during the fight.

Rating: 1/5

Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (2005)

The darkest, and best, of the newer films finally sees Anakin become Darth Vader, though it isn't that interesting a journey thanks to Hayden Christensen's continued wooden acting. It gets the job done as preparation for the proper films to come, at least...

Rating: 2.5/5

Episode IV: A New Hope (1977)

Farm hand Luke Skywalker starts a torrid affair with a young, innocent stable wench... no, wait, wrong film. You've all seen this, you know how good it is.

Rating: 4.5/5

Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

Boom! The best of the series, improving on the original, both darker and more epic, and with a better theme tune, this is where shit gets real. And we finally get to see a non-white human in the Star Wars universe.

Rating: 5/5

Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (1983)

Bad pacing and some silly stuff (*cough* Ewoks *cough*) marr an otherwise fine end to the original trilogy as the good guys finally win. Though I don't buy that Anakin/Darth Vader would be so welcomed back so warmly by the spirits of Obi-Wan and Yoda at the end after all the killing and destruction he's done.

Rating: 3.5/5

Parks and Recreation

I just want to mention 'Parks and Recreation' on BBC 4 (Wednesdays at 10pm), which I've been enjoying lately.

The show is into its 5th season in America, but it only just starting showing here about 2 months ago.

It's kind of like 'The Office' (not surprising as the show's creators previously worked on the American version of the show), but set in the titular government department in the town of Pawnee. It relies less on awkwardness and conflict for humour than 'The Office', which is probably for the best, as it helps it keep its own identity rather than look like a poor pastiche.

My favourite character is probably intern April, played by Aubrey Plaza, who shows no interest in her job and looks like she'd rather be anywhere else. Finally, a character on TV I can relate to.

Building and Civil Engineering

My New Year's resolution was to lie more often as it seems like fun. Like most people, I forgot about it by about 2 January.

But having seen the above the other day, I can now pretend I own my own building and civil engineering company, and do my regular job for pleasure only. That last part will be the hardest lie to pull off.