Adventure Time

The big adventure of my week was my trip to Tesco in Hanley, a magical place filled with wonder and excitement. And tinned foods.

Lost in a myriad of aisles, like pews in a church of capitalism, I ventured forth, purchasing foodstuffs and snacks. Which you probably can't do in a church, though I may be wrong, and often am. I wasn't ready to go into the clothing section or opticians and don't know if I ever will be. That was a step too far.

The temple of doom

Some people seemed to find it hard to grasp the concept of a "baskets only" checkout. In front of me in that queue were two different women with fairly full trollies, certainly containing more than you can fit into a basket. The checkout woman still served them. I don't know why. I would have let them get to the counter then told them to go a checkout that takes trollies.

The woman directly in front of me in the queue purchased four items: vodka, wine, paracetamol, ibuprofen. Now there's a woman who knows what she wants.

I paid for my items in cash. As I left the store, rays of sun hit me, waking me to the reality of the real world. I went back to work, my adventure now just a memory to use when I'm short on ideas for blog posts.

The Now Obligatory Food Review Post

Food blogs are pretty popular right now (I have no evidence of this), so I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon.

I had a chil(l)i con carne yesterday for the first time in over a decade. I enjoyed it a lot. It was a part of Uncle Ben's microwavable food range. I've not kept the cardboard outer packaging, so I can't comment on the ingredients; there was definitely rice, almost certainly some chilies, maybe some cocoa, some of those big, dark red beans and a brown coloured sauce.

I can't really compare the taste to that of other chili con carnes as, like I've already stated, it's the first one I've had in years. The rice was slightly drier than I'd have liked, but that may have been my own fault for cooking them for too long in the microwave.

The meal went down great with a bag of cheese and onion discos and a mug of tea, which is probably the way it is meant to be eaten by whichever culture or civilisation invented the dish. A triumph.

Highlight Of The Week

My highlight of this past week was definitely seeing a drunk guy get arrested on the bus.

It's not the first time I've ever seen police officers get on a bus I've been on (that's another story for another time) but was the briefest.

It started when some drunk guy (whom I shall call Frank Sinatra) got on the bus and loudly asked the driver if he'd let him on for free as he'd lost his wallet. After some badgering, the driver let him on, for which the drunk guy thanked him loudly and repeatedly as the bus pulled away.

A couple of minutes later, the bus pulled over at a stop at which no-one was waiting. The bus waited for a few minutes until a police car arrived. The driver had obviously called it in, rather sneakily.

Two police officers got on the bus and arrested Frank Sinatra. He put up a struggle for a few seconds then accepted his fate. He was arrested for criminal damage, something he must have done (if he did - innocent until proven guilty and all that) before he got on the bus. He didn't say anything to the driver who had turned him in as he was marched off.

The bus pulled away and no-one on the fairly full bus said anything. I don't know what happened to Frank Sinatra and I won't be following the local court news to find out. In my imagination, he'll break out of the police station and go on the rampage around Stoke, killing thousands of innocent civilians. I'll be able to tell my story on the inevitable documentary that will be on Channel Five.