Victoria Williams: "Swing The Statue!"

Artist: Victoria Williams

Album: Swing the Statue!

Released: 1990

So, this was it: I had finally reached the end of my term. This was my last few hours as President. "Put on some Victoria Williams," I said to my driver, Bunny, as I climbed into the presidential automobile.

"We'll sure miss you, Sir," replied Bunny, as he slid 'Swing the Statue!' into the CD player.

We'd achieved a lot, of course. We brought peace and aid to some parts of the world, we (hopefully!) made society more egalitarian, we tried to make our country a better place to live. There was one big failure though: we'd hadn't managed to bring in universal healthcare.

Ironic, I thought to myself, that I should be listening to Victoria Williams right now: she's just the kind of person who would benefit from a health service for all. As a musician with no health care, and who happens to live with MS, she's reliant on help from charity to get the drugs that she can't afford to buy for herself. Otherwise she has to do without.

It was the rich, white, right-wingers of course, it always is; they're the ones who blocked my healthcare plans. People in the UK spend less on healthcare than we do, I'd tell them, and they all have free health care; about a fifth of our population have no health care whatsoever despite us spending much more. You're just a cock-munching commie bastard, they'd tell me. You're trying to bring scientology in through the back door, they'd say. I don't know why they said these things, but they did.

In the end, they won; people would rather believe rich, white folks who only pay about 15% income tax on the millions they earn, mainly from their family trusts, than believe me. If that's what the people here want then fuck 'em: I'll go and live in England, where folks are suspicious of rich, white, male politicians, and where I can get free healthcare, regardless of race, religion or wealth. That sounds like the place for me.

"Pull over here, Bunny," I said as the car came near to my house. "And keep the CD. The way things are going, you're going to need Victoria Williams in your life much more than I do."

Best Song: On Time

Rating: 5/5