Released: 2010
I caught a tiger once, in 2005. He was livid. "Let me go, yer bastard," he protested.
Why did I do it? Money, of course. It’s always money.
"Whatever they're paying you, I'll double it," said the tiger.
"But you haven't got any money, you're a tiger," I said.
"C'mon, you know I'm good for it. We go way back, you and me."
"I've never met you before today."
"OK," said the tiger. "How about I bite someone for you? I'm really good at biting things."
"Like who?" I asked.
"Anyone you want."
"How about Tony Blairs," I said.
"Who is Tony Blairs?"
"He's only the President of England," I said. "And, by default, Europe."
"OK, I'll do it, it's a deal," said the tiger.
And so I let the tiger out of the cage. We said our goodbyes and he went on his way. He never did bite Tony Blairs like he promised. There's still time, I guess. He could still do it.
I sometimes wonder where the tiger is now and what he's doing. I hope he's hunting down Tony Blairs, but he's probably slacking off somewhere playing video games. That's what the young people do nowadays. Wasn't like that in my day, of course.
Best Song: Stranger
Rating: 4.5/5
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