Marco van Bastard (feat. Rita Ora)

In the Euro 88 group stage, England lost to the Netherlands 3-1. I don't remember too many details of the game. What I do remember is that the game kicked off around tea time, soon after I finished school. We had beef, gravy and vegetables for tea. I am certain that my mum had cooked the food well in advance and just reheated it because the gravy was lumpy and a bit jelly-like, which was always a give-away of such a culinary shortcut. Also the plate was the same temperature as the food from having been in the microwave at the same time.

My other memory from this game, which I don't know is true or not, is that the headline on the back of The Sun newspaper the next day was "Van Bastard". (Marco van Basten had scored all 3 goals for Holland in their victory.) I want to believe it's true, but I can find no evidence of it other than in my head. Which is good enough for me to tell people it's true.

Featuring Wiz Khalifa

Looking at the world around me, I fear that I'm the last man alive to have never done anything featuring Wiz Khalifa, Rita Ora or Pitbull.

How did I let his happen? Am I so far out of touch, out of the loop of modern pop culture?

I spoke to Wiz about it and he was horrified. He has agreed to do a guest rap just below.

Word on the street is bloggin' is the shit

'Bout hustlin' and talkin' shit

Bunch of pussy n*ggas gon' get clipped

Mark my man gon' kill this shit

Rita Ora will be appearing in my next post, looking sexy but not doing much else. I've had no contact with Pitbull. I'm sure he'd be up for something though if I asked him.

2015 Staycation

Today is the last day of my three week staycation. If I'm being honest, I've done very little during my break.

The highlight was perhaps seeing a John O'Shea lookalike standing outside of Argos. He was smoking an electronic cigarette. I don't think it was the real John O'Shea.

Other than that, I did a lot of sorting out, getting rid of stuff mainly, like clothes and my old PS3 disc games. I played on my new Xbox One quite a bit. Which was nice.

I went out for a meal and drinks with people from work. It was boring and the food was bad. I won't be doing it again. Though I'm getting made redundant soon so it's not something I really need to worry about.

I managed to watch one film on Netflix. Species III. It wasn't very good.

Overall then, not the most exciting holiday I've ever had. Prolly the worst. Oh yeah, I've been using the word prolly a lot lately instead of probably. That's something at least.

Switching Sides

I've not been on here for a while. Hello, if anyone ever reads this.

As everyone in the world knows, I'm a Nintendo man first-and-foremost when it comes to gaming. The problem with this is that Nintendo consoles tend not to get many of the big multiplatform games (GTA, Borderlands, Battlefield, Bioshock etc).

That is why I got a PS3 a few years ago, so I could play such games that weren't on the Wii or Wii U. I enjoyed my PS3, though recently, started to get pretty annoyed with it. The online is pretty crappy on PS3 (slow downloads, random disconnections from PSN even though my internet is fine), all multiplayer games get hacked so quickly you can't play them for long before the games are flooded with cheats (it took about a week on CoD: AW) and, probably most importantly, the PS3 controller became increasingly uncomfortable to use for me. I'd get hand cramps if I used it for more than about half an hour, partly I think down to the useless L2 and R2 trigger buttons meaning most games used the L1 and R1 instead. This means your hands are in a strange claw-like shape with the low analogue sticks and L1 and R1 buttons for many games.

So, about a month ago, I decided to switch sides and get an Xbox One. A controversial decision, given that the PS4 is vastly outselling the Xbox One by about 2:1, and is the more powerful machine with many games having better performance and graphics on it. But I really couldn't face having to use the crappy Playstation controller anymore (despite many people claiming the PS4's redesigned controller is better than the PS3's, which can't really be difficult in my book).

Maybe I'm just a sucker for the underdog (the situation was reversed when I got a PS3), or maybe I'm an idiot, I don't know. Anyway, I'll write more about the Xbox One in the future (I bet you can't wait).

Obviously, I could have not bought a console and got a life instead. Erm...

Next Blog>>

I posted before about Blogger's Next Blog>> feature. I revisited all the blogs linked before, but none of them have been updated.

Anyway, may as well try again.

Link 1: Katajone

The first blog today is a family blog. Guess what? They just had a baby! Congratulations! There's over 1,500 posts on this blog. You could probably stalk them pretty good after reading them all.

Link 2: Stay Puft

Second up is a music blog. I fancy myself a serious music fan but I haven't heard of hardly any of the acts mentioned. Not that that's a bad thing, it turns the blog into a journey of discovery. Sadly, it hasn't been updated since April 2011, just before the Coachella music festival. Hopefully, blog writer Drew wasn't caught up in some sort of orgy of music-based death and destruction there, rendering him unable to blog or something.

Link 3: Open Maps

If you are a fan of maps, then this is the blog for you. It not only has map news, but blogger Chris's thoughts on how mapping applies to various news events, like the US FAA's ruling that drones need to remain in sight of their owner.

Link 4: Framing Everything In Sight

This is a photography blog. Blogger SC, who lives in Malaysia, has taken some quite excellent pictures, mainly nature shots, and are worth checking out. The blog hasn't been updated since May 2011, I just pray that nature hasn't taken a horrible revenge on SC for him photographing it.

Link 5: Wright Family Newspaper

The Wright family's blog is the usual mix of updates, recipes etc. Like so many of these blogs, it hasn't been updated for about a year. Hopefully, the family weren't wiped out in a King Ralph-style massacre, leaving only an obscure, obnoxious cousin as head of the family.

Anna Kendrick And Peter Shilton

I had a dream recently that I was at a pub with my Dad and actress Anna Kendrick. My Dad had started to wear a wig (in the dream, not in real life).

Anna and I questioned my Dad as to why he had started to wear a wig.

As we did, former England goalkeeper Peter Shilton popped over to our table to tell us that he had had a hair transplant at the age of 23 (in the dream, not in real life) and it had given him the confidence to be a world class goalkeeper. To be fair, he had fabulous hair for a 65 year-old, all dark and curly, like a young Tom Jones. He said my Dad should consider doing it too.

I don't really know what any of this means. Maybe my Dad should get a hair transplant? Or maybe I should start hanging out with Anna Kendrick?

The result of this is that I went on Netflix and watched Rapture-Palooza, starring my new bff Anna K.

Guess Who's Back?

I've not been on here in a while. I've not been up to much, just playing Super Smash Bros for Wii U mainly.

In my absence, my blog has become even more popular. Looking at the stats, I've been getting over 5 hits a day! Sometimes over the magic 10 hits mark that all bloggers aspire to! Good times indeed.

Last time on here, I mentioned that my one YouTube video had got 21 hits. Well, guess what, it's up to 23 hits now! Though one of them was me looking at the page just now. Still counts.

My prediction for 2015 is that even more things in the world will be chargeable via USB cable. That is all.

Yootoob

I started my own YouTube channel. I've posted one video so far, a little over 2 months ago, of me winning an online race in Mario Kart 8, via the game's in-built race highlights editor.

I think you need to get millions of views, and to get adverts on your videos, to start making any money. My video has so far got 21 views, and has no adverts. If I can get 25,000 views a day, every day, for the next year or so, I should get into the kind of numbers that will start making me some serious money. Oh yeah.

Fingerless Gloves

I've never understood the appeal of fingerless gloves. They certainly don't look cool and they don't have any practical benefit over fingered gloves. The fingers are the parts of the hand that get cold the most.

As such, I take an instant dislike to anyone who wears them. Someone on my bus wears them. I dislike him. I've never spoken to him but he's crossed the fashion line and there's no going back. He looks like Sylar from 'Heroes' too which only makes him look more evil.

Lorde: "Pure Heroine"

Released: 2013

A girl who takes the same bus as me in the mornings looks a lot like Lorde. I think she does this on purpose to some degree as she has her hair the same, dresses in a similar style and tends to wear purple lipstick.

She's probably about the same age as Lorde too I would guess, at about 18. I don't know if Lorde is an inspirational figure to the young people or just this one. I'm not going to ask her (or speak to her at all) as she's half my age and that would be creepy. She does wear the same Doc Martens boots as me though, not that I'm suggesting that she's going to start copying my look next.

It's a pretty bold move to model your look on someone else. Everywhere she goes, people must say, "Ooh, you look a lot like Lorde." Intentional or not, it must get pretty annoying everyone mentioning/thinking it all the time.

Anyway, Lorde's album is pretty good, it has a strong first half, then sags a bit in the second half but picks up again right at the end.

Rating: 3.5/5