Euro 2012 Round-Up

So, Spain won it... it was pretty easy in the final, with Italy folding like a pack of cards, and ending the game with only 10 men after Motta went off injured and the Azzuri had no subs left.

How were my predictions? Well, I got 50% of the quarter finallists, 50% of the semi-finallists and 50% of the finallists correct. I predicted a German win but they were too cocky and got spanked by Italy in the semi-final.

How was the tournament? Like the past few championships, the group stage was very entertaining but the knock-out stages were largely underwhelming, with the odd exception.

However, before everyone says how great everything in Spanish sport is, let's remember that Spain's fans have already been fined for racist abuse during this tournament...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2012/jun/29/euro-2012-uefa-racism-fine

Then there was a questionable advert that Pepe Reina did before the tournamnent...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/liverpool/9114243/Liverpools-Pepe-Reina-caught-up-in-racism-row-after-Spanish-company-is-forced-to-cancel-TV-advert.html

And the game between Spain and England in 2004...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/internationals/4018421.stm

Oh yeah, then there's the Spanish basketball team...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2008/aug/10/olympics2008.olympicsbasketball

And Spanish Formula 1 fans...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/2290950/Lewis-Hamilton-sad-at-racism-in-Spain.html

In Praise of Bad Music

Like a lot of people, I occasionally enjoy films that are "so bad they're good". 'A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge' comes to mind straight away...

http://stokeparanormalsociety.blogspot.com/2012/06/nightmare-on-elm-street-2-freddys.html

What not a lot of people ever really say is that they like bad music. There are some slight exceptions: most people don't mind bad songs if they're Christmas songs, and many people have their "guilty pleasures", songs which are often from their childhood or youth, mainly from the 1980s it seems, which people still have an affection for, but don't want to admit they really like because they're not considered cool anymore (or ever were), so they hide behing a veil of irony and "school disco" nights at nightclubs.

I'm not interested in music that's just out-and-out bad (U2 and Coldplay take note). No, what I like is the music that shouldn't have been; the singles or albums that were vanity projects, or ill-advised wish-fulfillment. The projects that were designed to expand the brand. I'm talking about actors, models, TV presenters and reality stars who suddenly decide that they want to be pop stars or, in some cases, serious indie/emo rockers. I'm talking about the likes of Bruce Willis, Naomi Campbell and Paris Hilton; people who aren't going to let the fact that they can't sing or have any obvious music talent whatsoever get in the way of their dream to make an album.

Anyway, I've bought a bunch of such albums and will be doing posts all about them when I get the time...

In the meantime, here's Bruce Willis (and The Temptations) doing 'Under The Boardwalk'.

I don't know why The Temptations agreed to this. No, wait, they probably got paid a shitload of cash. Listen out for the especially cheesy backing music.

The UK Media's Fetishisation of the Military

As if watching 'Daybreak' in the morning isn't bad enough, this morning's features on Valentine's Day seemed to feature almost exclusively tales of women married to men in the armed forces and how they keep their love alive when their men are away.

Surely I can't be the only person getting sick of the increasingly fawning nature of the UK media, in particular the more-tabloidy and right-wing outlets, towards the miltary?

Everything revolves around "our brave boys". Countless documentaries about their work, awards ceremonies on ITV (the 'ITV Military Awards'), constant interviews with military wives, reality shows featuring military wives, songs released by military wives, albums released by serving personnel...

WTF is going wrong with the world? It's gotten to the point where any criticism of war or military procedure is seen as an attack on "our brave boys". Rumoured cuts of the armed forces (in line with cuts in the rest of the UK civil or public services) are viewed as an outrage against humanity, where as it's ok to make cuts elsewhere (like in the NHS) as the other services "need to be realistic" in these austere times. Stories of servicemen convicted of crimes like rape, murder, torture etc getting little public attention...

Well, I for one would have little problem cutting the armed forces in the UK. Mainland Britain hasn't been invaded for almost 1,000 years, and won't be invaded again (unless by aliens). There won't be another Nazi Germany. There's no need for Britain to have nuclear weapons. There's no need for Britain to have one of the biggest armed forces in the world.

Cut the military. Sell off the weapons, warships and tanks. Re-train any useful personnel to join the police force or fire and rescue services. Spend the money on the NHS and on public services. End this fetishisation of the military, and end it now.

That is all.

She Married HIM?

I remeber reading a story in the newspaper not long ago about a builder who got married. Nothing unusual there, you might think. Unless the builder's got no arms or legs or something.

Anyway, this particular builder married a woman who used to walk past the building site on her way to-and-from work. And this builder used to whistle and shout suggestive comments at her. AND SHE MARRIED HIM.

Which begs many questions: how stupid is she? How stupid is he? Why tell a national newspaper that this is how you met? Is it still the 1970s and no-one told me?

"Mummy, how did you meet Daddy?"

"Well, I used to go past where he worked and he shouted 'Get yer tits out for the lads' at me. It was so romantic."

"I wish Daddy was still alive."
"So do I."

Serial Killers

Is it just me or do a lot of serial killers and nutters seem to wear glasses?

Not that I'm suggesting that anyone who wears glasses is also a (potential) serial killer, I'm just saying keep an eye on any glasses-wearers you know.

Could Finish

Apropos of nothing, possibly my favourite ever bad taste newspaper headline was one that accompanied a story about the death of Princess Margaret in 2002 saying that the pain from Margaret's death "COULD FINISH OFF THE QUEEN MOTHER"...

The funny thing is that the Queen Mother did indeed die about six weeks later. :(

England 1-0 Spain

Javier Bardem, Penelope Cruz, Salvador Dali, Placido Domingo, Julio Iglesias, Sergio Garcia, Fernando Alosno, Pedro Almodovar - your boys took one hell of a beating!

In case you don't follow football (why not?), Spain are the best team in the world. Current World and European champions, they tear apart all they face. Apart, of course, from the mighty England. (And Portugal. And Italy. And Switzerland.) Yeah, you read that right, England. Mediocre England. Who've been largely rubbish for about 40 years.

I could say England outfoxed Spain, they outplayed them, surprised them tactically, outpassed and outclassed them. But that would be a lie. England got lucky and scored from their one good chance. Whatever, I don't like Spain anyway. It's like England in the 1970s (lots of bad TV and racism) but with better weather. And without the good music. So screw 'em. Same goes to Australia, for similar reasons.