Saturday 16 November 2013

Witness Relocation

If I ever get to see a mob hit, then testify in court in exchange for witness protection and have to be relocated (and I hope to one day)I'd want to live on the coast somewhere.

I want a place not too close to a lighthouse, but not too far away either. On summer evenings, I'd invite locals over to play football in the garden. The lighthouse would make a useful though intermittent floodlight if any games went on into the night.


Afterwards we would retire to my study for brandy. We would have a good laugh and tell stories of great goals we've scored over the years, but lament our now decaying bodies and dodgy knees.

I've tried to increase my chances of this happening by spying on people I determine to be potential murderers and mob bosses, but so far nothing. I shall keep on the case.

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